I spent so long writing about my pain, loss, and sadness when it changed I just stopped writing. I’m not sure I can write about the happiness. Yes I have happy times, happy memories, even happy days. But how to express is is still new to me. I understand happiness’s cruel sibling, understand it so well but this new emotion, new feelings are foreign to me that I am still surprised by it. I have cried in joy, cried just because I wasn’t sad, laughed at pain from the past, and cried when that pain was gone. Sadness has sustained me when all else failed and taught me so much. I feel almost guilty leaving it behind as it assures me I will be back. True, I may be, but this is now my time. My time for some joy and happiness. My time to break all masks and just be free, be me. The real me.